peb nyiam peb cov plaub hau ntev heev es tej zaum peb xav puag lawv ib yam li peb xav nrog cov phooj ywg los yog tsev neeg, txawm li cas los xij, rau lawv qhov no tsis zoo li koj xavHos rau peb yog ib tug piav tes piav taw kev hlub, rau dev yog ib tug taw uas thaiv lawv thiab ua rau lawv ntxhov siab.
Nkauj tawm tshiab koj puas tau pom tias koj cov plaub hau tau sim khiav tawm los yog tig taub hau thaum koj mus puag nws, lub sijhawm ntawd koj puas tau nug koj tus kheej vim li cas?kuv tus dev tsis nyiam los puag? Ntawm peb lub xaib peb yuav muab cov yuam sij rau koj kom koj tuaj yeem kawm tau zoo me ntsis txog tus cwj pwm tsiaj thiab peb yuav qhia koj yuav ua li cas puag nws yam tsis muaj kev ntxhov siab.
Kawm txhais (thiab nkag siab) cov lus dev
Kev sib txuas lus tsis tau lus, dev siv lub cim appeasement, lub cev postures uas pab lawv qhia lawv tus kheej rau lwm tus dev, tab sis hais tias peb cov tswv yuav tsum txhais tau.
Thaum koj puag tus dev nws yuav tso saib ob los yog ntau tshaj cov cim qhia hauv qab no. Thaum lawv ua tej yam no, lawv hais rau koj, ntawm lawv tus kheej, tias lawv tsis nyiam rau koj puag kuv. Qhov teeb meem yog tias qee zaum koj tuaj yeem tau hais kom lawv kos lossis tom, vim li ntawd nws yog qhov zoo dua rau kev hwm lawv qhov chaw yog lawv pom ib qho ntawm cov cim no:
- Tig ntsej muag
- Txhob Cia Siab Rau Koj
- Tig koj lub cev
- Coj lub qhov muag
- Tsim kom dim
- Yawn
- Koj qhib qhov muag dav heev
- Bars teeth
Pob dev tiag tiag?
Psychologist Stanley Coren tau luam tawm ib tsab xov xwm hauv Psychology Hnub no hu ua Cov Ntaub Ntawv Hais tias "Tsis txhob puag tus dev!" lees paub tias ua tau zoo, dev tsis txaus siab thaum koj puag lawvQhov tseeb, nws tau nthuav tawm 250 cov duab sib txawv ntawm tib neeg puag lawv cov plaub hau thiab hauv 82% ntawm lawv cov dev tau qhia qee qhov cim ntawm kev txaus siab uas peb tau piav qhia yav dhau los.
Coren piav qhia tias cov tsiaj no muaj kev cuam tshuam sai heev thiab ua haujlwm, thiab yuav tsum tau khiav dim los ntawm kev khiav thaum lawv hnov hauv txaus ntshai los yog cornered Qhov no txhais tau hais tias thaum koj puag lawv, lawv xav tias blocked thiab tuav rov qab, lawv tsis muaj peev xwm khiav tawm thaum muaj ib yam dab tsi tshwm sim. Yog li yog lawv thawj cov tshuaj tiv thaiv yog khiav thiab lawv ua tsis tau, nws yog ib txwm muaj rau qee tus dev sim kom tau qhab nia kom tau dawb.
Qhia nws hlub tab sis tsis txhob nkim nws
Muab koj tus dev kev hlub yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws uas koj tuaj yeem ua rau ntxiv dag zog rau koj daim ntawv cog lus, tab sis ua qhov uas tsis yog ntshai nws, ntxhov siab lossis ntxhov siab yog ib qho ntawm tsib txoj kev ywj pheej ntawm kev noj qab haus huv tsiaj.
Koj tuaj yeem coj nws mus so, txhuam nws cov plaub hau lossis ua si nrog nws kom pom koj txoj kev hlub, tab sis kuj tseem muaj txoj hauv kev los puag nws kom nws txhais tau tias tuav rov qab. Ua raws li cov kauj ruam hauv qab no kom tsis txhob nug koj tus kheej tas li, yog vim li cas kuv tus dev tsis nyiam los puag?
- Cia rau nws kom txias thiab maj mam txav kom nws tsis txhob ceeb.
- Cia nws saib koj mus kom ze nws thiaj tsis ntshai.
- Cia kuv hnia koj txhais tes, xib teg qhib.
- Suab ntsiag to ntawm nws.
- Xyaum xyaum ua lwm yam hauv lub cev, ib txwm vam khom thiab pab koj tus kheej nrog khoom plig yog tias tsim nyog, kom nws koom tes nrog tej yam zoo.
- Maj mam qhwv koj txhais caj npab ncig nws nraub qaum thiab muab nws tso rau nws. Koj tseem tuaj yeem khawb tau zoo, tsis tas yuav nyem.
